Email coaching
Email coaching
how to send a first message
what kinds of contents to talk about on email message
how to send second and following messages
how to ask first date
how to prepare for the first date
process to actual dating
Honne tatemae
Dealing with Honne and Tatemae in Japan | JobsInJapan.com
When you exchange messages with Japanese women, one thing you must be aware is Honne and tatemae
Japanese women often use techniques and it is very complicated to understand real her mind by foreigners.
Tips for writing your first message
Tips for a popular message
Be sincere anyway
Honest and generous men are popular with women, so if you want women to trust you, you can't miss it.
Tips for popular messages2. Send detailed messages
Try to be as detailed as possible in your message. If it's short, it's easy to read, and it's easier for women to reply.
Tips for popular messages3. Do not rush and wait patiently
Tips for a popular message4. Empathy
In order to meet women, you need to be friends with them. In order to shorten the distance between the hearts of women through messages, listening carefully to what women have to say and empathizing with them is a trick to greatly increase the chances of meeting.
Nice to meet you, my name is Daniel. Thank you for matching!
I'm also from Kanagawa, so I'd be happy if I could talk about various things!
Making the next topic easier.
The rabbit in the third picture is cute ^^ Do you have one at home?
The rabbit in the third picture is cute ^^ Do you have one at home?
By asking questions, you don't have to worry about what to reply.
Ask a question here to make it easier to reply. But that doesn't mean you have to ask anything.
The important point to keep in mind is this part of "The third picture is ...".
The point of this part is
[I'm talking about women's uploaded photos]
That's what I'm talking about. (*Since there is no photo to touch, the case will be described later.)
写真に触れると返信率が上がる！
The
photos uploaded as sub photos are often selected like this.
•
Favorite things
• Interests
• Things related to
memories such as travel
Since they registered with the dating
app knowing that they would be seen by the opposite sex, there is a
high possibility that the photo will have something to say about it,
and the chances of being able to touch on the topic that the woman
wants to talk about will dramatically increase.
It's OK just to
touch it in one line. For example:
"Your
profile picture has a very nice view. Which one is it?" "Rabbit
is cute. Do you have one?"
If you do not have a sub photo
registered, touch on your hometown or community
This technique can
only be used with female partners who have registered secondary
photos. If you only have one photo, first pick up content related to
your hobbies and favorite things, such as communities.
Once the
first reply is received, the next is the second and subsequent
exchanges. From the second letter onwards, "enjoyment of
conversation" will be the point, so please read this article for
detailed tips.
[Example
of the first message]
Nice
to meet you, △△.
It's
〇〇.
Thank you for matching.
My running hobby and my love for dogs are
the same, so I liked it.
The dog's eyes are wide and cute, is it a
poodle?
When
you are in your 40s, you have the opportunity to match with younger
people. At this time, it is NG to suddenly use a tame mouth just
because you are younger.
Tameguchi is useful for shortening the
distance by using it on the opponent when you gain trust. However, in
the beginning, it is good to use honorifics regardless of the age of
the person you are speaking to.
In addition, if you use a lot of
pictograms and emoticons, the sentences will look childish and
serious.
Conversation
material that is easy to talk about with matching apps
•
Opponent's hobbies
• Occupation and job description
• Personality
• Background
• Values (way of
thinking about marriage and work)
• talking about school
and classes
• how to spend the holidays
•
Hometown stories
• Frequent area
Match
the “frequency” and “length” of the message to the other
party
Ideally one round trip per day
It is basic to match
the sex
So basically everything should be suitable for women.
e.g.
sentence length.
I sent it in 4 lines, but if the woman returns in
2 lines, I will return it in 2 lines.
A sense of reply.
If a
woman responds in 5 minutes, she will respond in 5 minutes.
This
is the best if possible.
Observe how often and how voluminous the
woman sends you, and try to match it.
For example, people who
prefer smooth conversations like chat tend to have relatively short
sentences and high frequency. If you reply early according to that,
you can have a conversation at a good tempo and exchange without
stress.
Conversely, if you ignore the tempo of a woman and only
send one message a day, you will get a negative evaluation, such as
"It's boring."
Whether the exchange continues or not is
a big point whether the woman can interact comfortably. By keeping in
mind the message that matches the woman's pace, it will lead to a
good impression that "this person seems to get along
well!"
Hours are noon or between 19:00 and 23:00
A topic
that applies to all women = “Food”
I have messaged nearly 100
women so far, and almost all of them talk about food.
If you put
the topic of "food" in your profile ◎
If
you put the topic of "food" in your profile as a stepping
stone to talk about food to women, you will be able to talk about
food smoothly.
Ex) I love to eat, so I often stroll around the
shops near 〇〇!
By
adding such sentences, you can give the impression that you are a
food lover, so when you bring up the topic of food, you will not feel
unnatural.
Women also love talking about travel and movies
By
the way, if you're not interested in food, I recommend talking about
travel or movies.
What is it, men don't really understand, but
women love "food, movies, and travel" (laughs)
So, it is
no exaggeration to say that if you can talk about your favorite
things to some extent and know what is trending in these three
topics, "food, movies, and travel," you can respond to
almost all women's hobbies!
The point of the first
message sent to the other person in their 20s
There are three
points in the first message you send to someone in their 20s.
4. Short sentences (2-3 lines as a guideline)
5. Include a
thank you note
6. Ask questions about their hobbies
If you
are sending a message to someone in their 20s, please be aware of the
short sentences.
Today's younger generations are accustomed to
short sentences on LINE, etc., but there are many people who are not
accustomed to long sentences. Therefore, send a short message of 2-3
lines to someone in their 20s.
[Example of the first
message]
Thank you for matching ^^
I love movies!
Is there
an interesting movie that you have seen recently?
And please
include "thank you" and "question" in the first
message.
First of all, the response is different just by saying
"Thank you for matching". I have a good impression of
people of the opposite sex who can say "thank you" and "I'm
sorry" regardless of gender. Therefore, try to include a
thank-you note to make a good first impression.
Next, for
questions, look at the other person's profile and try to find a
topic. It can be difficult to carry on a conversation in an area you
know nothing about here. So, it's easier to keep the conversation
going if you look for something you can ask in a field you know a lit
second
and subsequent messages
Match the “frequency” and “length”
of the message to the other party
Ideally one round trip per
day
So basically everything should be
suitable for women.
e.g. sentence length.
I sent it in 4 lines,
but if the woman returns in 2 lines, I will return it in 2 lines.
A
sense of reply.
If a woman responds in 5 minutes, she will respond
in 5 minutes.
This is the best if possible.
Observe how often
and how voluminous the woman sends you, and try to match it.
For
example, people who prefer smooth conversations like chat tend to
have relatively short sentences and high frequency. If you reply
early according to that, you can have a conversation at a good tempo
and exchange without stress.
Conversely, if you ignore the tempo
of a woman and only send one message a day, you will get a negative
evaluation, such as "It's boring."
Whether the exchange
continues or not is a big point whether the woman can interact
comfortably. By keeping in mind the message that matches the woman's
pace, it will lead to a good impression that "this person seems
to get along well!"
Hours are noon or between 19:00 and
23:00
A topic that applies to all women = “Food”
I have
messaged nearly 100 women so far, and almost all of them talk about
food.
If you put the topic of "food" in your profile
◎
If
you put the topic of "food" in your profile as a stepping
stone to talk about food to women, you will be able to talk about
food smoothly.
Ex) I love to eat, so I often stroll around the
shops near 〇〇!
By
adding such sentences, you can give the impression that you are a
food lover, so when you bring up the topic of food, you will not feel
unnatural.
Women also love talking about travel and movies
By
the way, if you're not interested in food, I recommend talking about
travel or movies.
What is it, men don't really understand, but
women love "food, movies, and travel" (laughs)
So, it is
no exaggeration to say that if you can talk about your favorite
things to some extent and know what is trending in these three
topics, "food, movies, and travel," you can respond to
almost all women's hobbies!
second and subsequent messages
Match the “frequency” and “length”
of the message to the other party
Ideally one round trip per
day
It is basic to match the sex
So basically everything
should be suitable for women.
e.g. sentence length.
I sent it in 4 lines, but if the woman returns in 2 lines, I will return it in 2 lines.
A sense of reply.
If a woman responds in 5 minutes,
she will respond in 5 minutes.
This is the best if
possible.
Observe how often and how voluminous the woman sends
you, and try to match it.
For example, people who prefer smooth
conversations like chat tend to have relatively short sentences and
high frequency. If you reply early according to that, you can have a
conversation at a good tempo and exchange without stress.
Conversely,
if you ignore the tempo of a woman and only send one message a day,
you will get a negative evaluation, such as "It's
boring."
Whether the exchange continues or not is a big point
whether the woman can interact comfortably. By keeping in mind the
message that matches the woman's pace, it will lead to a good
impression that "this person seems to get along well!"
Hours
are noon or between 19:00 and 23:00
A topic that applies to all
women = “Food”
I have messaged nearly 100 women so far, and
almost all of them talk about food.
If you put the topic of "food"
in your profile ◎
If
you put the topic of "food" in your profile as a stepping
stone to talk about food to women, you will be able to talk about
food smoothly.
Ex) I love to eat, so I often stroll around the
shops near 〇〇!
By
adding such sentences, you can give the impression that you are a
food lover, so when you bring up the topic of food, you will not feel
unnatural.
Women also love talking about travel and movies
By
the way, if you're not interested in food, I recommend talking about
travel or movies.
What is it, men don't really understand, but
women love "food, movies, and travel" (laughs)
So, it is
no exaggeration to say that if you can talk about your favorite
things to some extent and know what is trending in these three
topics, "food, movies, and travel," you can respond to
almost all women's hobbies!
