Banner

Breaking News

Email coaching

 

Email coaching







how to send a first message

what kinds of contents to talk about on email message

how to send second and following messages

how to ask first date

how to prepare for the first date

process to actual dating





Honne tatemae

Honne and tatemae - Wikipedia

Dealing with Honne and Tatemae in Japan | JobsInJapan.com


When you exchange messages with Japanese women, one thing you must be aware is Honne and tatemae

Japanese women often use techniques and it is very complicated to understand real her mind by foreigners.




Tips for writing your first message




Tips for a popular message

  1. Be sincere anyway
    Honest and generous men are popular with women, so if you want women to trust you, you can't miss it.
    Tips for popular messages

  2. 2. Send detailed messages
    Try to be as detailed as possible in your message. If it's short, it's easy to read, and it's easier for women to reply.
    Tips for popular messages

  3. 3. Do not rush and wait patiently

    Tips for a popular message

  4. 4. Empathy
    In order to meet women, you need to be friends with them. In order to shorten the distance between the hearts of women through messages, listening carefully to what women have to say and empathizing with them is a trick to greatly increase the chances of meeting.

    Nice to meet you, my name is Daniel. Thank you for matching!
    I'm also from Kanagawa, so I'd be happy if I could talk about various things!
                              Making the next topic easier.
    The rabbit in the third picture is cute ^^ Do you have one at home?


    The rabbit in the third picture is cute ^^ Do you have one at home?
    By asking questions, you don't have to worry about what to reply.
    Ask a question here to make it easier to reply. But that doesn't mean you have to ask anything.
    The important point to keep in mind is this part of "The third picture is ...".
    The point of this part is
    [I'm talking about women's uploaded photos]
    That's what I'm talking about. (*Since there is no photo to touch, the case will be described later.)


写真に触れると返信率が上がる!

The photos uploaded as sub photos are often selected like this.
• Favorite things
• Interests
• Things related to memories such as travel

Since they registered with the dating app knowing that they would be seen by the opposite sex, there is a high possibility that the photo will have something to say about it, and the chances of being able to touch on the topic that the woman wants to talk about will dramatically increase.
It's OK just to touch it in one line. For example:

"Your profile picture has a very nice view. Which one is it?" "Rabbit is cute. Do you have one?"
If you do not have a sub photo registered, touch on your hometown or community
This technique can only be used with female partners who have registered secondary photos. If you only have one photo, first pick up content related to your hobbies and favorite things, such as communities.
Once the first reply is received, the next is the second and subsequent exchanges. From the second letter onwards, "enjoyment of conversation" will be the point, so please read this article for detailed tips.




[Example of the first message]
Nice to meet you,
△△.
It's
〇〇. Thank you for matching.
My running hobby and my love for dogs are the same, so I liked it.
The dog's eyes are wide and cute, is it a poodle?


When you are in your 40s, you have the opportunity to match with younger people. At this time, it is NG to suddenly use a tame mouth just because you are younger.
Tameguchi is useful for shortening the distance by using it on the opponent when you gain trust. However, in the beginning, it is good to use honorifics regardless of the age of the person you are speaking to.
In addition, if you use a lot of pictograms and emoticons, the sentences will look childish and serious.

Conversation material that is easy to talk about with matching apps
• Opponent's hobbies
• Occupation and job description
• Personality
• Background
• Values (way of thinking about marriage and work)
• talking about school and classes
• how to spend the holidays
• Hometown stories
• Frequent area







Match the “frequency” and “length” of the message to the other party
Ideally one round trip per day

It is basic to match the sex
So basically everything should be suitable for women.
e.g. sentence length.
I sent it in 4 lines, but if the woman returns in 2 lines, I will return it in 2 lines.
A sense of reply.
If a woman responds in 5 minutes, she will respond in 5 minutes.
This is the best if possible.
Observe how often and how voluminous the woman sends you, and try to match it.
For example, people who prefer smooth conversations like chat tend to have relatively short sentences and high frequency. If you reply early according to that, you can have a conversation at a good tempo and exchange without stress.
Conversely, if you ignore the tempo of a woman and only send one message a day, you will get a negative evaluation, such as "It's boring."
Whether the exchange continues or not is a big point whether the woman can interact comfortably. By keeping in mind the message that matches the woman's pace, it will lead to a good impression that "this person seems to get along well!"
Hours are noon or between 19:00 and 23:00
A topic that applies to all women = “Food”
I have messaged nearly 100 women so far, and almost all of them talk about food.
If you put the topic of "food" in your profile

If you put the topic of "food" in your profile as a stepping stone to talk about food to women, you will be able to talk about food smoothly.
Ex) I love to eat, so I often stroll around the shops near
〇〇!
By adding such sentences, you can give the impression that you are a food lover, so when you bring up the topic of food, you will not feel unnatural.
Women also love talking about travel and movies
By the way, if you're not interested in food, I recommend talking about travel or movies.
What is it, men don't really understand, but women love "food, movies, and travel" (laughs)
So, it is no exaggeration to say that if you can talk about your favorite things to some extent and know what is trending in these three topics, "food, movies, and travel," you can respond to almost all women's hobbies!



The point of the first message sent to the other person in their 20s
There are three points in the first message you send to someone in their 20s.
4. Short sentences (2-3 lines as a guideline)
5. Include a thank you note
6. Ask questions about their hobbies
If you are sending a message to someone in their 20s, please be aware of the short sentences.
Today's younger generations are accustomed to short sentences on LINE, etc., but there are many people who are not accustomed to long sentences. Therefore, send a short message of 2-3 lines to someone in their 20s.
[Example of the first message]
Thank you for matching ^^
I love movies!
Is there an interesting movie that you have seen recently?
And please include "thank you" and "question" in the first message.
First of all, the response is different just by saying "Thank you for matching". I have a good impression of people of the opposite sex who can say "thank you" and "I'm sorry" regardless of gender. Therefore, try to include a thank-you note to make a good first impression.
Next, for questions, look at the other person's profile and try to find a topic. It can be difficult to carry on a conversation in an area you know nothing about here. So, it's easier to keep the conversation going if you look for something you can ask in a field you know a lit








second and subsequent messages

Match the “frequency” and “length” of the message to the other party
Ideally one round trip per day


So basically everything should be suitable for women.
e.g. sentence length.


I sent it in 4 lines, but if the woman returns in 2 lines, I will return it in 2 lines.


A sense of reply.
If a woman responds in 5 minutes, she will respond in 5 minutes.
This is the best if possible.


Observe how often and how voluminous the woman sends you, and try to match it.


For example, people who prefer smooth conversations like chat tend to have relatively short sentences and high frequency. If you reply early according to that, you can have a conversation at a good tempo and exchange without stress.


Conversely, if you ignore the tempo of a woman and only send one message a day, you will get a negative evaluation, such as "It's boring."


Whether the exchange continues or not is a big point whether the woman can interact comfortably. By keeping in mind the message that matches the woman's pace, it will lead to a good impression that "this person seems to get along well!"


Hours are noon or between 19:00 and 23:00
A topic that applies to all women = “Food”


I have messaged nearly 100 women so far, and almost all of them talk about food.


If you put the topic of "food" in your profile

If you put the topic of "food" in your profile as a stepping stone to talk about food to women, you will be able to talk about food smoothly.


Ex) I love to eat, so I often stroll around the shops near
〇〇!


By adding such sentences, you can give the impression that you are a food lover, so when you bring up the topic of food, you will not feel unnatural.


Women also love talking about travel and movies
By the way, if you're not interested in food, I recommend talking about travel or movies.


What is it, men don't really understand, but women love "food, movies, and travel" (laughs)


So, it is no exaggeration to say that if you can talk about your favorite things to some extent and know what is trending in these three topics, "food, movies, and travel," you can respond to almost all women's hobbies!






second and subsequent messages


Match the “frequency” and “length” of the message to the other party
Ideally one round trip per day

It is basic to match the sex
So basically everything should be suitable for women.
e.g. sentence length.

I sent it in 4 lines, but if the woman returns in 2 lines, I will return it in 2 lines.


A sense of reply.
If a woman responds in 5 minutes, she will respond in 5 minutes.


This is the best if possible.
Observe how often and how voluminous the woman sends you, and try to match it.


For example, people who prefer smooth conversations like chat tend to have relatively short sentences and high frequency. If you reply early according to that, you can have a conversation at a good tempo and exchange without stress.


Conversely, if you ignore the tempo of a woman and only send one message a day, you will get a negative evaluation, such as "It's boring."


Whether the exchange continues or not is a big point whether the woman can interact comfortably. By keeping in mind the message that matches the woman's pace, it will lead to a good impression that "this person seems to get along well!"


Hours are noon or between 19:00 and 23:00
A topic that applies to all women = “Food”
I have messaged nearly 100 women so far, and almost all of them talk about food.


If you put the topic of "food" in your profile

If you put the topic of "food" in your profile as a stepping stone to talk about food to women, you will be able to talk about food smoothly.


Ex) I love to eat, so I often stroll around the shops near
〇〇!
By adding such sentences, you can give the impression that you are a food lover, so when you bring up the topic of food, you will not feel unnatural.


Women also love talking about travel and movies
By the way, if you're not interested in food, I recommend talking about travel or movies.


What is it, men don't really understand, but women love "food, movies, and travel" (laughs)
So, it is no exaggeration to say that if you can talk about your favorite things to some extent and know what is trending in these three topics, "food, movies, and travel," you can respond to almost all women's hobbies!